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  • Writer's pictureSteve Crowther

Stormy weather - a mercifully short play

Scene one: as the curtain rises, we hear a recording of Etta James singing Stormy weather. The volume increases as the curtain rises. We are inside the hallway of a big house, a very big house, it’s raining heavily. There are two people, American people, one called Mr President, the other is his wife. “Why did the police bring you home in the police car, Donald?” asked Mrs T. “Ave been to court, some fake-news hearing” replied the President “Ah, I heard about this fake-news hearing on some fake-news TV. About you having an affair, Donald,” said his wife. “What was her name?”

“Ms Daniels” replied the President.

“First name?”

“Er, Stormy, Stormy Daniels. She’s on TV”

“Ah, TV. Is she a weather reporter, Stormy Daniels?”

“No, more in the movies, a movie star”

“What movies has she bin in?” “ Ah, Desert Stormy, it’s a political film.” “And?”

“Ah, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, it’s a kind of comedy.”

“Wasn’t she also in Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre, Donald?” “F**k,” said Mr President.

“That’s what the fake-news people said, Donald. You f**ked a porn star.”

“Gotta go, dear” “Go where, Donald?”

“Golf” replied her husband.

“Ave been learning golf, Donald. I’m very good, I’ll show you” His wife pulls out a Smith & Wesson and fires a shot through the President’s head. She turns to the audience, grins and says: “Hole in one!”

As the curtain falls, the volume of Stormy weather increases.

The end

Ps any characters in the play are fake, fake-news.

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